While visiting with a friend the other day she mentioned that her husband wasn't feeling well. He was having symptoms of cold sweats and nausea. Concerned I asked if he was OK to which she replied that she was sure he was fine and moved the conversation on to something different.
At that moment envied her.
Not a moment was spent worrying that maybe someone else might get it or worse get really sick.
I know that part of my anxiety with illness stems from Abbie's diagnosis and with all we endure when an illness comes our way. For instance when Abbie gets the stomach flu it doesn't just last a couple of days and she's fine. It is a week to 10 days solid of testing blood sugars every 2 hours 24 hours a day, testing urine for ketones every time she pottys, force feeding when your kids puking is always fun, the changing of insulin doses as her body recovers and then doing it again when she is better.
As a mom it is heart wrenching to hold your child while they cry because their fingers hurt or their tired of getting shots, or they don't understand why they have to have this disease.
I recognize that we have it so much better than other individuals. There are some amazing families out there that have it far worse than we do. And for that we honor them.
So last night as I was sitting in bed thinking of this conversation I thought will I ever get to the point that I don't worry so much? Well the answers is no. Not just about Abbie but with all our children. As parents we worry about our kids because we love them. We are not different than any other parents out there we just happen to have different things we worry about. So while I thought I envied this person for her ability to not worry I actually envied her ability to keep her worry in perspective. What I needed to learn from this experience is that
I need to get my anxiety over illness into perspective. (obviously)
Recognize that as parents we are sometimes required to do things that we would rather not but we do them anyway because that is what parents do.
realize that my job is to teach THEM ways to stay healthy.
and for the times when they don't feel so good. Just do the best that we can and told them tight so they know that we love them and that they are not alone.